Even if I love the idea of love, there’s something I know for sure. I’m 20 and I don’t want to live for someone. I don’t want to have to inform anyone when I go out, or make sure to text goodnight every night before going to bed. I don’t want anyone to keep me from spending a night alone on my couch, watching my favourite TV show, with no one to bother me. I don’t want to have to remember anniversaries or Valentine’s Day.
I’m 20, I should live for myself and nobody else. I don’t want to be around someone who has the presumption to say he knows me better than I know myself. It would be a lie. Let’s not talk bullshit: you spend a lifetime trying to know yourself, and then someone else comes and thinks he can do better than you?
Why should I feel complete only with someone else by my side? I’m 20 and I want, I expect to feel complete by myself. I don’t want to get to my 30s and regret something I could have done but I didn’t because I had my other half, who wasn’t a ‘half’. Because I thought I could only be happy with someone else next to me.
When you’re 20 you must be happy on your own, with yourself. I have my life, my dreams, my goals and no intention of shaping them according to someone else’s. They’re mine. And I don’t judge those who find their half when they’re 20. I judge those who find someone and think there’s nothing and no one else beyond that wall. I think one day I’ll meet that someone. But not now. Not here.
Now I don’t want to look aside. I want to look ahead.
Thanks to Alessia Nigretti.